Photo Album

This photograph shows a small part of the island that I have been living on the past few
months. The cabin you see is the one I built
and is where I sleep. As you may notice, there

is a person fishing, that is Garvey. We always go to the other side of the lake to fish because there are more over there. You cannot see the small forest in this picture, but it is right behind Garvey. This island is so beautiful in the nighttime and day, I love it!

The soaking pond, a place where calmness and quietness rush through my body. I come here every morning and soak until I feel I have soaked long enough for my anger to be relieved. It is tucked away from the lake and surrounded by trees which makes it all the more relaxing. I don't know what I would ever do without this soaking pond. 

This is the Spirit Bear that mauled me when I first came to the island. Now your probably thinking, its not a spirit bear, it's just a plain old white bear. You believe what you want to believe but I am done lying, my life is full of lies, it needs to stop. Besides, I don't need to

prove anything, I am telling the truth. 





This is my ancestor rock, the rock I carry every morning after my trip to the soaking pond. I carry this bowling ball sized rock up the hill, thinking of my ancestors and past. When I reach the top of the hill, I say good-bye to my anger and past, and push the rock down the slope. After I am done, I am at peace and can start a fresh new day. This process is also a good workout for me as well, it helps me stay fit and strong.

 

A picture of the hot dog that Garvey made the first night on the island when we returned the second time. I learned something that night, and that is, life is like a hot dog. He told me that the whole world was like a hot dog, you choose what you do with it. You can pick to have a simple hot dog with just a bun or you can add relish, ketchup, onion and mustard. The same goes to life, you can decide to make it simple and boring, or make it a celebration. All of life is a hot dog. Make of it what you will. 

The moon, symbolizing the circle of life. This photograph was taken in the dead of the night, darkness and complete silence surrounding it. That everybody is apart of a circle, whether it be Circle Justice, or your own circle in your own way. Every part of a circle is both a beginning and an end. A circle, is the only thing Peter could teach me to carve.

This is the at.oow blanket that Garvey gave me when I first arrived at the island. He told me that if I promised to care for it, he would trust me to have it. Now at first, I was so mad, I didn't care about it, and actually threw it in the cabin when it was going down in flames. It must not have made it in the flames because it is perfectly undamaged. This blanket is a sign of trust, which is why I gave it to Peter, I trust him, and I hope he learns to trust me back.

Slowly But Surely

May 20, 2001

   Peter has been with us on the Island for about two weeks now. He has been doing little things to me like stepping on my stuff with his muddy shoes or crossing out one of my carvings on my totem, to try to make me mad but it is not working. This monring he went to the soaking pond with me, and it was not pretty. He had a mental breakdown and started punching and kicking me. I was in much pain, but promised myself to not fight back. He finally stopped and started crying. I hugged him and I think he was okay with that. That was when I saw the Spirit Bear, I whispered to him and told him that was the Spirit Bear, the bear that attacked me. He saw it with his very two eyes, he saw what I saw, at last somebody believed me.
   I think that he has opened up his heart a little bit for forgiveness. I have a feeling this island will bring us together and we will possibly be friends again. I know our friendship will not be tight, but at least we will both share and never forget the memory of the Spirit Bear. 

Island Reunion

May 10, 2001


    At first Garvey thought I was crazy for even suggesting the whole idea about Peter coming to the island. Then it must have got to him, and he realized there was nothing else that would help him and this was the only option. He told Peter and his parents of this idea, and at first they chuckled at thought and then they too said it was the last chance they had to take before it may be too late.
   Sure enough, they arrived on the island and just like I thought, Peter does not say a word. I explain to Peter's parents what I do every day and show them the soaking pond. I tell them of the anger dances, the totem pole and how I have changed.
   They stayed a few days until they thought it was okay to leave. Peter has said very minimal words and has refused to do the activities I have asked him to do with me. I will not give up on him and I know we will work things out. 

Problem

April 4, 2001

   There is a huge problem right now, I returned from a dip in the soaking pond and there sat Garvey. He told me that Peter had tried to commit sucide and was emotionally depressed. I was speechless at thought of this and knew deep down inside this was because of me.
    After a sleepless night of thinking, I realized what I needed to do. Keeping in mind how much this island has changed me, maybe it would do the same for Peter. It occurred to me that if Peter came to this island, maybe he could soak in the pond with me, make his own totem and carry an ancestor rock too. I would show him how much I changed and maybe there would be a slight chance he would forgive me. He probably would not want to come to an island where a person who had beat him senseless lived, but it was worth a try.

Changed

March 25, 2001

    Last night, I danced the dance of anger. This was a point that made me really think and change. I started by just dancing by the fire, then it moved to the forest and me hitting a tree. I learned a lot from this dance, and that is the simple word: Forgiveness. I learned that you need to have room in your heart to forgive instead of holding a grudge. Also, that in order to make peace between others and yourself, you need to be willing to forgive and be open to do so. That night, I forgave my father for beating me, and I forgave myself as well. I also have forgiven the Spirit Bear for nearly killing me. I know he was just trying to defend himself from being hurt by me. If it were his choice, he would not have chosen to fight at that moment. Right now, life makes sense, and I like it! 

Anger Relief

March 10, 2001


    It has been about a month since I have been on the island. I have finally finished the building the cabin and I am working on the furniture. Every morning, I go to a freezing cold soaking pond to relax. Edwin brought me to this peaceful place the morning after I got here. The first couple of times I got in the pond, it was so cold, my body was numb. After awhile, I got used to it and now it does not bother me. When I soak in the pond, I feel a sense of calmness and tranquility. This process slows sown my brain and is a good beginning to the day.
    In addition to my routine, I also carry a really heavy rock called the ancestor rock up a big hill. The travel up the hill is the remembrance of my ancestors and my past. When I get to top of the hill, I take a deep breath and roll it back down. The minute it rolls down, my anger is gone and rolling with it. The only feeling I have left inside of me is, peace.
    Also, every night Edwin, Garvey, and I do what is called an anger dance. We take whatever animal we see that day, and make it into a dance. After the dance, we explain the lesson we learned from it. In the morning, I carve a part of my totem pole I have created. I either draw an animal or a symbol from the dance I did the night before. It is a very important aspect to my experience on this island.

Return to the Island

Feburary 16, 2001


   There was much discussion with Circle Justice whether or not I should return to the island after what happened and breaking the contract. I told them that I have changed, and if they gave me another chance, I swear things would be better. At first, they didn't believe me after the number of times I have lied, but for some reason, they didn't give up on me, and decided to take two.
    I have just returned to the island, again, and have many things to do. Edwin said that since I burnt down his shelter he made for me, I have to build my own. I have already started it, and let me tell you, it is not easy with just one arm available. When I am finished with this shelter, I think it will be safe to say, my sweat and blood went into the making of this, it better serve its purpose.
 

Nothing Left

September 24, 2000

    I don't know where to begin to tell you what happened first on my worst, yet short experience on the island. For starters, I tried to escape the island by swimming, but sure enough, the time I decided to go, was not a very good time. It was tide time. No matter how hard I swam, I was not going anywhere. All I remember, is waking up in a bed of warm ashes, the ashes of the cabin that Edwin built for me and I burnt down. Those ashes, about saved my life from Hypothermia.
    A day or two later, with disbelief in my eyes, I saw the Spirit Bear. His eyes met mine, but he didn't move. Angry that he was not scared of me, and did not run away, I charged. As you can guess, he won the fight and left me hanging with broken limbs, ribs and opened flesh. I was immobilized and could not move. Not long after the mauling, did the birds and mosquitoes decide to pick away at my body for their own convenience. 
    While laying there, on the cold, hard ground, I noticed a bird nest that had fallen out of a tree during a thunderstorm. I had seen this bird nest before with baby birds in it. I had hated seeing those things depending on their mother for food and chirping loudly. When I looked again at the destroyed, bare nest, they were no longer making noise. I for once, felt bad for them, I had whispered into the emptyness to their dead little bodies, "Are your okay?" 

Angry and Frustrated

September 1, 2000


    Apparently there is no other place to go except for this stupid island, unless I want to go to jail. Circle Justice offered this opportunity to me, so I said whatever, I'll go. So, here I am on this crappy, deserted island doing absolutely nothing. That old, ugly guy named Edwin, said that he would be back to check on me in a few days, but all I have to say is good luck with that. I have to find a way to get out of here, go somewhere else, to another island. Nobody will know me there, and maybe I could start my life over. I will swim, even if the coldness of the water kills me.
    I know that the only reason I'm on this island, is so I am one less person somebody has to deal with. Poeple just wanted to get rid of me so they could actually sleep at night. My parents could care less about me, Peter and his parents probably wish I disappeared and Garvey, well he just his probably doing this for me because it is his job. He probably doesnt care whether I went to jail or died tonight. I just don't care anymore.   

Touching Spirit Bear Quiz

1. Which of the following were the main themes represented while on this island?
    A. Friendship   B. Forgiveness  C. Trust   D. All of the above

2. At what point did I change to a total different person?
    A. Anger Dance   B. When I was near death   C. Both A and B

3. What do I do daily to relieve and get rid of my anger?
    A. Sleep  B. Soak in the pond  C. Carry ancestor rock  D. Both B and C

4. Who has never given up on me and helped me through this process of taking away my anger?
    A. Peter Driscal  B. Garvey & Edwin  C. My parents  D. The Keeper

5. When I first came to the island, which animal mauled me?
    A. Spirit Bear  B. Fox  C. Raccoon  D. Skunk

6. What was my other alternative if I did not go to this island?
    A. Move to a new country  B. Go home  C. Work at a store  D. Be incarcerated

7. What is the healing form of justice called that I am involved in?
    A. Healing Justice  B. Square Justice  C. Circle Justice  D. Justice Group

8. What did Garvey give me as a sign of trust?
    A. At.oow blanket  B. Flashlight  C. Pillow  D. Cat

9. To resemble the lessons I learn from anger dances, what do I do?
    A. Write in my diary  B. Bake cookies  C. Carve the totem pole  D. Sing

10. Who did I invite to the island to try to make things right for both of us?
     A. My parents  B. Peter Driscal  C. President  D. Govener

* Answers in the comment box*

How To Save A Life- Lyrics